Are you sick of being on the defensive when it comes to the narcissist and their allies? Well, then we have the article for you!
Smear campaigns are an extremely common tactic run by narcissists, and it’s very common in friend groups, the workplace, and even in relationships. These attacks on your character can seemingly come out of nowhere but are actually clever tactics that toxic people use to devalue you and slander your character.
If you want to finally kick the narcissist and their group of henchmen to the curb for good, make sure you stick around until the very end of the topic and we’ll teach you how!
10: Calmly but firmly push back against the rumors.
Your first step in taking back control of this situation is to push back against the current narrative. If the narcissist has successfully launched a smear campaign against you, then it’s very important that you start to plant your feet and push back. Try not to seem upset, though, as people can often perceive this as an acknowledgment of fault or guilt. Instead, remain calm but don’t allow yourself to get pushed into a corner. You have done nothing wrong, and there is no reason to believe that others are actually buying into this childish attempt to ruin your reputation. Be calm and be strong against the narcissist and most people will be able to see how wrong they are about you.
9: You’ve got nothing to prove.
Remember that you don’t have to run to social media or others to prove you are a good person. If someone is claiming that you are stupid, don’t go around flexing your college degree or solving math problems in the middle of the office to prove they’re wrong. This just makes you look egotistical and like you are overcompensating, and believe it or not, other people will think that too. Narcissists don’t really care about what they are saying, they are just trying to win and also to make you lose. It’s important to remain confident in who you are when under attack, otherwise the narcissist smear campaign will keep chugging along.
Number 8: Show the flying monkeys kindness… at least for a while.
For those who don’t know, flying monkey is a term used to refer to anyone who enables a narcissist. These people usually float around narcissists because of their own insecurities, and do their bidding for them in exchange for entry into the group. They will join in on the crusade against you, but trust us when we say they are not the brains behind the operation.
Most likely, they have pretty low self-esteem and have joined the narcissist in an effort to be part of what they think is the cool clique. If you lash out against them or show them ill will, they have no reason to hold back, but if you are able to avoid them, you may actually turn them against the narcissist. Toxic people like narcissists aren’t great friends, and they usually need a common enemy like you to shift the focus away from their own antics. If you are able to cast doubt on that, then the monkeys may leave to find a new leader.
7: Stay professional.
Staying professional or classy towards the narcissist is important, as it helps to push the truth into the spotlight. It is understandably frustrating to hear rumors, gossip, or other childish things from them, but that doesn’t mean you should give in to your urge to blow up at them. Narcissists only want to win, and if that means poking you enough times that you finally explode, then they will take it.
You want to remain truthful to yourself, and getting dragged down to their level is the exact opposite of that. It’s probably very satisfying in the moment to absolutely let the narcissist have it, but afterward, you will either have to deal with some really awkward conversations with your friends, family, or coworkers, or have to deal with another narcissist smear campaign.
6: Cut out the common links.
There is no handbook on how to handle a smear campaign against you, but if there was, this entry would definitely make it there. Unfortunately, it can also mean potentially sacrificing a fun activity or thing you like doing. Cutting out the common links between you and the narcissist might seem like quitting, but it is absolutely brutal to their campaign.
Taking the high road is never fun, but it’s honestly one of the fastest ways to decimate a smear campaign. You may no longer be able to make it to poker night or an office party, but that won’t be the case for long! Narcissists don’t tend to root themselves in one place too long, and they will probably get themselves kicked out of those things in a little while!
5: Stay focused on other aspects of your life.
While most of the entries today center on how to directly crush a smear campaign, there are some passive things you can do in order to give yourself a little break from it all. Giving yourself a chance to focus on goals not involving the narcissist is a really good way to put things in perspective, and it will also make the narcissist furious. These toxic people really only want attention, and right now they want it from you.
If you choose to focus on other things, they will take this as a rejection, and it will get you closer to ending the smear campaign once and for all. They may keep trying to lash out in increasingly drastic ways, but you’ve sped along the process and it should be clearer to everyone how crazy they are acting.
4: Block them on social media.
A narcissist is dangerous on social media, and they may even bring in their flying monkeys to pile on the hurt. A key step in learning how to beat a smear campaign is to limit your exposure to their abuse. Just like how human beings can’t survive without oxygen, a narcissist can’t survive if their victim is ignoring them. Blocking you on social media is such a big hit to their ego, in fact, that usually they will confront you about it.
Knowing that their bait posts against you are not being read because you blocked them will make them furious, and it may also cause them to stop their pursuit of you. Just like an internet troll, sometimes cutting off communication is the best plan of defense, as arguing or trying to prove how wrong they are will only make them bolder in their next attack.
3: Point out their actions to the flying monkeys.
If you are in a place where you often have downtime with a narcissist’s agents, you may be able to create a rift between them. Commenting on times when the narcissist embarrasses or is rude to their flying monkeys may also drive a wedge between them. You should be pretty careful about this tactic, however – if you aren’t able to pull it off, you may only make them angrier.
Overall, you should be careful what you tell a narcissist’s helpers, as you have no way of knowing how they will react or if they will report it back to their unofficial boss. If you are confident in your abilities, though, the flying monkeys are usually pretty easy to trick, which is how they came to assume that role in the first place.
2: Stay close to your friends.
A good support system is your best shield against criticism, and some close friends can really make all the difference here. Filling your friends in on the situation and letting them know how it is affecting you is the first step, as honesty is really important here. Narcissists are going to try to isolate you, which means they may try to turn your friends against you or create a rift between you.
If the cards are all out in the open, though, there is no reason for your own friends to believe a narcissist over you. Narcissists aren’t really able to make connections the way most of us are, and they especially aren’t able to express their genuine feelings and concerns to others. This means that even if the narcissist has found their way into the friend group, they shouldn’t humor their toxic threats and allegations over you.
1: Wait for the perfect moment.
There are definitely good and bad times to challenge a narcissist, as we have talked about a few times today. Narcissists are pretty tactical, but they can often overdo things and say or do too much that might give away their plans. You should think of it in a similar way, and you don’t want to overplay your hand, even if you think you are right.
To a narcissist, this is all just a complex game, but it can be easy for you, a person with feelings and compassion, to become emotional or want to strike back. This is such a common mistake, and it often extends the narcissist’s smear campaign as a result. If you really want this person out of your life and aren’t just looking to win this silly little game, you should try to keep your emotions and feelings as far away as possible.
You should even try to be kind to their agents if you can stomach it, as this will usually make the narcissist even angrier that they are losing at their own game. It may not be flashy and it may not feel as satisfying in the moment, but waiting things out and remaining patient is your best chance to stop the narcissist’s campaign.
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