Today, I’m going to talk about 10 things that narcissists say when you’re in a relationship. You’re going to hear these 10 things if you’re involved with a narcissist. Okay, I may go over 10, but I’m just going to keep listing them so that you’re aware of what these narcissists say and realize that you’re not crazy. You’re dealing with a narcissist.
1. “You’re Imagining It, It’s All in Your Head”
So, number one, what a lot of narcissists always say, and this is part of gaslighting, they always say, “You’re imagining it. It’s all in your head.” They love to make you think that you’re not seeing the truth, what’s a fact. So, they gaslight. That’s why I always tell you guys, you have to know your gaslighting terms.
One of them is when they say, “You’re imagining it. It’s all in your head.” It’s not in your head. If you feel a certain way, if your gut is telling you something, you have to trust your gut. If you are seeing it, you have to stay focused and stop doubting yourself. Because this is what narcissists want, they want you to doubt yourself.
2. “You’re Crazy”
What’s the other thing that narcissists say in a relationship? Here’s another given: “You’re crazy.” They love to call you crazy. They love to call you bipolar. They love to diagnose you. Like, who are they to sit there and diagnose you when all of them live in glass houses? Okay, we know that narcissists are very critical. They’re very judgmental. One of the things they love to do is question your mental state.
So, you’re going to hear, when you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, they’re going to say, “You’re crazy. You’re bipolar. You have mental issues. Oh, you need to go talk to a therapist.” No, I’m seeing it. I’m calling you out on the truth. You’re the one who needs to go talk to a therapist because you won’t acknowledge the truth and can’t take accountability.
3. “There’s Always Something with You”
Alright, moving along to another thing that narcissists say in a relationship. Here’s another one. They love to say, “You know, there’s always something with you.” Anytime you bring up a complaint or something in the relationship to the narcissist, they automatically say, “You know, there’s always something with you.
” Yeah, there’s something with me because you’re not acknowledging what I’m saying, and you’re trying to make me think that there’s a problem with me. Okay, again, these narcissists want you to think that there’s a problem with you. So, you know, not today, Satan! It’s not that there’s something wrong with me. There’s something wrong with you because you can’t own up when you’re wrong.
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In a healthy relationship, you should be able to voice your opinions, express how you feel, and say when something’s bothering you. But when you’re dealing with a narcissist, they don’t want to hear complaints. They don’t want to hear you say anything that they did wasn’t right or that you should do it this way. So, what they’re going to do is say, “You know, there’s always something with you.” No, there’s nothing with me. It’s just that you won’t let me voice my opinion, and you won’t validate me. This is what they do, you guys.
4. “Stop Bringing Up the Past”
Okay, I’m moving along on my list of things that narcissists say in a relationship. A lot of them do this. A lot of them will say something like, “Stop bringing up the past.” Meanwhile, it could have happened yesterday, but they always call it the past, right? I mean, even though it is the past, it just happened. “Stop bringing up the past.” See, narcissists always want you to sweep things under the rug. They don’t want to be accountable. You’re not allowed to bring up anything about the past because they don’t want to take that accountability and face that shame.
So, they’ll always say, “Stop bringing up the past.” Or what else do they love to say? “Let’s move on from here. I don’t want to talk about what happened. Can we just start new?” See, the problem with that is, if you can’t acknowledge the problem, you can’t fix the problem. It’s going to be like a fire that’s smoldering. It’s going to turn into a big fire because resentment is going to grow, and it’s going to eventually explode if you don’t come to some kind of resolution.
But narcissists, they don’t want to come to resolutions. They just want to do whatever they want to do, not be accountable, and they don’t want you to ever bring up anything from the past that they have done. Okay, you’re supposed to just forget about anything that they have ever done. But yet, they can always talk about you and the things that you’ve done. There’s a complete double standard when you’re dealing with a narcissist.
5. “Nobody Likes You”
Alright, the other thing that narcissists say when they’re in a relationship, they love to put you down and say, “Nobody likes you.” Or, “I could see why people don’t want to be around you.” Or, “I could see that you have a problem with everybody.” Again, they’re trying to make you think that you have a problem because maybe you had a problem with somebody else.
Now they’re going to triangulate, bring that in, and say, “Oh, you know, nobody likes you,” or something like that. See, the narcissist wants everybody to think they’re the greatest thing that walked the earth, and everybody likes them, and nobody likes you.
Another common saying they’re going to say is, “You have no friends.” Because narcissists always equate value to how popular you are. That’s why narcissists always pretend to be popular and say, “Oh, I have so many friends. You have no friends.” They have acquaintances, but they don’t have close friends.
Then they will criticize and judge you and make you feel like, again, they’re trying to plant the seed that you have a problem. They’ll say, “Well, nobody likes you,” or, “You have no friends.” Okay, again, it’s to discredit you, make you feel that there’s something wrong with you, to make you feel inferior.
6. “You’re Jealous”
Now, moving along, what narcissists love to say in a relationship they love, I mean, you guys, they love to call you jealous. When narcissists are the most jealous people in the world, they’re constantly calling you jealous. Let’s say you brought up something that somebody else did, and you’re thinking that you can confide in the narcissist like they’re supposed to be your ride-or-die, your best friend. What are they going to do when you bring up something that somebody else did to you? They’re going to say, “You know what? You’re very, very jealous.”
Or when they’re liking a million other people’s pictures on social media, and you say something to them like, “You know, why do you have to like so many people’s pictures on social media? Why do you always have to like every single picture of this beautiful Instagram model? Why do you have to do that, or this hot guy, or something like that?” They’re going to say, “Oh, you’re so jealous.
You’re so jealous. It’s just social media. Oh my gosh, you pick on every little thing.” Meanwhile, the narcissist is liking every single picture because they’re trying to get that person’s attention so that that person inboxes them and says something like, “Oh, thanks for the love. I appreciate that.” This is their way to open the line of communication, hoping that the person that they’re liking all their pictures will reach out to them. Okay, because they’re not just liking one picture, they’re obnoxious with it, where they’re liking a million pictures.
But the irony in all this is, they’re going to turn to you when you say something and say, “Oh my gosh, you’re so jealous. You’re so insecure.” No, what they’re doing is they’re disrespecting you and crossing boundaries. Alright, they’re disrespecting you and crossing boundaries because there’s a fine line between just being nice and liking a picture and the narcissist who’s liking every single picture to try to get a rise out of someone. It’s being flirtatious. That’s what it is. It’s being flirtatious when they go to that extreme.
7. “You’re Insecure”
And it brings me to the next thing that narcissists love to call you. They call you insecure. Now, all of this is projection. As you guys should know by now, if you’ve listened to me, this is either gaslighting or projection with these sayings.
So, the narcissist is going to gaslight you to confuse you, or they’re going to project who they are and project that shame onto you. So, they love to call you insecure. They want you to be insecure. That’s what it is. So, you’re going to hear, “Oh, you’re so insecure.” Or they may say, “You know, you’re a real negative person.”
8. “You’re Weird”
Another one I’m going to throw in here, I just thought about narcissists love to call you weird. Okay, covert narcissists do this. They will say, “You know, you’re weird,” or, “There’s something about you. You’re weird.” Now, that is a passive-aggressive way to put you down. Alright, somebody calling you weird is not a pat on the back and is not a compliment, but it’s not that stringent of a remark, you know, where you could come at them and attack them. So, it’s kind of on the fence when somebody calls you weird.
If you say something to them like, “What do you mean I’m weird? What, are you trying to put me down or something?” They’re going to say, “Oh my gosh, look how you’re getting. No, I’m just saying, you know, you’re weird with this. Oh my god, you take everything the wrong way.” These are all things that narcissists will say, but they intend to slight you by saying that, to make you feel insecure, that you’re a weirdo, that there’s something wrong with you. It makes them feel superior to call you weird or call you insecure.
9. “It’s Your Fault”
Now, moving along to things narcissists say in a relationship, they always love to say, “It’s your fault.” Okay, I have yet to see a narcissist who will ever say, “Oh, it’s all my fault.” The only time a narcissist will say, “Oh, I’m sorry,” apologize, or say, “It’s their fault,” is if it’s during the love-bombing stage and they haven’t gotten you yet, or if they’re trying to reel you back in, they see you pulling away.
They may humble themselves to fool you, and you say, “Oh, you know, they can’t be a narcissist. They apologized, or they said it was their fault.” You always have to look at the timing of things. It’s because they’re trying to fool you into showing you fake humility. Alright, but deep down, they don’t think anything’s their fault.
Everything is always your fault, and they will always say, “You did that.” They always blame-shift. “It’s your fault.” You come to them and say, “You know, you left the sink open or something like that.” They’ll say, “Oh, that’s your fault, you know, because you didn’t remind me or something.” They love to switch it up and twist it and say, “Well, if they did do something, it’s because you made them do something.
” Alright, this is how the narcissist twists everything to make it your fault. So, they’re going to say everything is your fault, or “You did that,” or “I couldn’t talk to you because of the way you get.” They love to say that: “Oh, I couldn’t talk to you because of the way you got.” No, if you were just honest and you weren’t a liar and you didn’t lie by omission, I wouldn’t get any old way. Okay, but you see how narcissists switch it up and make you the problem? This is what they do.
10. “Honestly, I Don’t Know What You’re Talking About”
Another term or phrase that narcissists say when they’re in a relationship is, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Or they love to use the word “honestly.” Rather, they’ll say, “Honestly, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I brought this up in an older reel that I did, like over two years ago, where I talked about how narcissists love to use “honestly.” The minute that you hear that, they’re about to lie to you right after that. Okay, this is a common word that liars use. “Honestly,” it’s to build that trust, but it’s to fool you. They’ll say, “Honestly, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I had, you know, an influencer copy me on this. This was a personal experience that I endured with somebody that I was having a problem with, a narcissist, for like two years. When I tried to get clarity out of this narcissist, instead of her being transparent with me, she said to me, “Honestly, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” when she flat-out absolutely knew exactly what I was talking about.
She was gaslighting me. And she also used the word “honestly.” So, that’s how I knew it. You know, that, of course, got copied, but it is what it is. I’m bringing it to your attention, okay, you guys? So, you’re going to hear that word “honestly” a lot, or “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Again, gaslighting.
11. “I Don’t Remember”
Okay, the other gaslighting phrase or thing that a narcissist will say in a relationship is, “I don’t remember. I don’t remember.” Okay, it’s like they’re taking the fifth on the stand. “Oh, I don’t remember. I don’t remember.” Because they know you can’t say anything when they say, “I don’t remember.” So, this is another way narcissists get out of taking accountability, to sit there and say, “Oh, I don’t remember.
I don’t even remember what I did yesterday.” Yes, they do. Okay, you guys, you know a lot of people talk about how they’re delusional, but they’re not that delusional. Believe me, trust me when I tell you, I’ve dealt with so many in my whole life, and they are very perceptive.
I talked about this in a reel that I did. Narcissists are perceptive. So, they’re not in this fog, okay? They’re not in a fog. They’re delusional in the sense that they know how to justify it, twist it around, and manipulate it into their favor. But the point is, they do remember. Okay, they remember better than you remember because they’re so perceptive.
12. “I Love You Unconditionally, Baby”
Alright, what’s another term that narcissists love to say in a relationship? “I love you unconditionally, baby.” Okay, they love to throw the “unconditionally” in. Alright, and if you’re a person who doesn’t know the game or you don’t know narcissism, you’re going to be like, “Oh my gosh, they love me unconditionally. Oh my gosh, they must be my soulmate.”
13. “You’re My Soulmate”
And that brings me to my next term, which narcissists love to say in a relationship. They love to call you a soulmate. Alright, when you hear that, run. Okay, narcissists love to say, “You’re my soulmate,” or, “I prayed that God would bring you to me.” This is so funny. “I can’t believe I met you. I prayed for the last six months that God would bring somebody to me, and I can’t believe He finally brought me you.” This is the narcissist conning you.
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