Narcissists thrive on belittling other people, especially those they resent or compete with. Their put-downs are crafted to play on your vulnerabilities, trying to belittle you in sensitive topics like your weight, age, family, or parenting skills to destroy your self-esteem. In this article, I will enumerate 10 common ways narcissists put you down and give you tips on how to defend yourself against their abuse. Let’s begin.
Why Narcissists Insult You
Narcissists insult others to feel superior and mask their insecurities. They zero in on your vulnerabilities, whether it’s your appearance, age, or family dynamics, because these are the areas where they can inflict the most damage. By breaking you down, they aim to control and isolate you, making you dependent on them. Here are the 10 ways they do it.
1. Commenting on Your Weight
Narcissists love to target your physical appearance, especially your weight. They’ll call you “too fat” or “too thin,” and even if you’re healthy and taking care of yourself, they’ll plant seeds of doubt. For example, if you start working out and losing weight, they might say, “I liked you better with more meat on your bones,” to sabotage your progress. During devaluation, they may use cruel nicknames like “chubby” or “little piggy” to chip away at your confidence.
2. Mocking Your Age
Age is another favorite target. Narcissists will call you “old” or imply you’re past your prime, even if they’re the same age or older. They might say, “Nobody’s going to want you,” or, in extreme cases, make comments like, “I need to trade you in for a younger model,” even if you’re significantly younger than them. This tactic plays on societal pressures about youth and beauty to make you feel worthless.
Related Topics:
10 Weird Ways Narcissists Devalue You
10 Things Narcissists Say In a Relationship
5 Weird Ways Toxic Family Members Punish a Truthteller for Going No Contact
3. Insulting Your Family
Narcissists often attack your family to isolate you and hit a sensitive nerve. They’ll say things like, “You’re going to end up just like your mother,” or “Your family is a bunch of low-lifes.” They may even insult your family’s nationality or ethnic background. By criticizing your family, they aim to distance you from your support system, making you more dependent on them.
4. Criticizing Your Children
Shockingly, narcissists will stoop to insulting your children, saying things like, “Your son’s a loser,” or “Your daughter’s more mature than you.” These backhanded comments are designed to undermine your parenting and self-worth. They may also imply your kids are a burden, further attacking your identity as a parent.
5. Attacking Single Parents
Narcissists particularly target single parents, accusing them of being “shitty” mothers or fathers. This is especially hypocritical when the narcissist contributes little to parenting. They’ll question your ability to raise your children while ignoring their shortcomings, making you doubt your competence and worth.
6. Calling You Stupid
Narcissists love to belittle your intelligence, calling you “stupid” or saying, “You don’t know what you’re doing.” They’ll blame you for any challenges you face, saying, “You did this to yourself,” or “Your life is a mess because of your bad decisions.” This victim-shaming tactic is meant to make you feel incompetent and unworthy.
7. Claiming Nobody Likes You
Another common insult is, “Nobody likes you,” or “I see why you have problems with everyone.” Narcissists scapegoat you, implying you’re the problem in your relationships, even when others have wronged you. This is projection—they’re often the ones who feel unliked, so they shift that insecurity onto you to make you question your social value.
8. Ignoring or Dismissing You
Covert narcissists insult you subtly by ignoring your calls, texts, or attempts to communicate. They might claim, “I didn’t get your text,” when you know they did, insulting your intelligence. By dismissing you, they make you feel insignificant and foolish, which is a deliberate power play to erode your confidence.
9. Excluding You from Events
Narcissists may exclude you from social gatherings, family events, or get-togethers with friends as a backhanded insult. This isolation tactic is designed to make you feel alone and unwanted. If family members exclude you, it’s a sign they’re not true family. Real family is about love and inclusion, not pushing you out.
10. Labeling You as Crazy
The ultimate insult is when narcissists call you “crazy” or “bipolar” to discredit you. This often happens when you try to hold them accountable. By questioning your mental stability, they flip the script, making you doubt yourself and fear exposing their behavior. This character assassination is a desperate attempt to protect their ego and maintain control.
How to Protect Yourself
You can’t control what a narcissist says, but you can control how you respond. Here’s how to deal with their insults:
- Know Your Worth: Remind yourself, “Not today, Satan!” Their words are a reflection of their insecurities, not your value.
- Disengage: The moment someone insults you, walk away. Don’t give them the satisfaction of a reaction.
- Go No Contact or Gray Rock: If possible, cut off contact entirely. If you must interact, use the gray rock method, keep communication minimal, emotionless, and factual.
- Surround Yourself with Support: Build a network of people who uplift you, not tear you down. Family isn’t always blood; it’s those who love and support you unconditionally.
Narcissists insult you to break your spirit, but you are stronger than their words. Stay focused, know who you are, and don’t let their toxicity define you.
Leave a Comment