There’s no doubt that the INFJ personality type has unique preferences when it comes to showing up in society. They are often just as confused with their surrounding societal norms and expectations as those who effortlessly comply with the INFJ. Yet, which social norms send the INFJ for a loop, and why do they have such a difficult time comprehending them? All right, let’s get right into it, starting with number one.
Number 1: Placing so little significance on emotional cues
INFJs are extroverted feelers at heart and mind. They utilize this secondary cognitive function by continuously analyzing the thoughts, feelings, and minuscule changes in the behavior of those around them to adjust their approaches appropriately.
While this observation is done almost entirely subconsciously, this empathetic type places quite a bit of significance on these emotional cues, especially when it comes to making decisions that affect other people. Due to this innate course of action and outlook, the INFJ can’t quite grasp how it has become such a norm to disregard emotions in the way we’re all used to.
Whether it’s in business, schooling, or even within our closest relationships, emotional expressions are quite often overlooked. While this personality type is busy basing their entire logic around the smallest and, at times, unexpressed feelings of others, the rest of the world is putting feelings and others’ well-being at the bottom of their priority list.
Self-gain, efficiency, money, time—there’s always something more important than the overall welfare of fellow humans, making it all backward in the eyes of the INFJ.
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Number 2: People who can float through life care-free
We’ll start this point by saying, of course, everyone has their problems in life. Nobody can hide from their problems completely, and nobody lives the perfect life. However, there are certain types of people in this world who have a knack for living life on the surface, not taking things too seriously, and not diving deeper than necessary.
For the overthinking and analyzing INFJ, this social norm seems impossible. If it wasn’t for them witnessing these specific individuals with their own eyes, they wouldn’t believe that such a way of living is possible. Unfortunately, witnessing others in this carefree aura only makes things more confusing. As they say, ignorance is bliss, and nothing rings more true than seeing those who are ignorantly blissful floating through life so effortlessly.
While it’s fair to say that things aren’t always what they seem, there’s no other type that thinks with such complexity, worry, and depth as the INFJ. It’s only this type that truly knows the repercussions of such a way of life, as well as the confusion that comes with thinking of life any other way.
Number 3: Superficial, meaningless connections
If something has to do with self-gain or societal expectations, you can count the INFJ out. With that being said, one of the most common social norms INFJs just can’t wrap their heads around would be superficial relationships with others. For the INFJ, upkeeping the few connections they do have in life is already difficult enough.
So when they witness others creating connections rooted in fear of loneliness or convenience, you can be sure that this personality type won’t follow suit. Yet, aside from this introverted preference, there’s something about fakery surrounding relations with fellow humans that sends the INFJ into confusion.
This confusion is made through a combination of different things like the INFJ’s need for heartfelt conversations, proper trust, and evident commonalities with the person they’re connecting to. Because of these requirements, they couldn’t show up to a superficial connection with genuine attentiveness even if their life depended on it, making it extremely difficult for them to comprehend how so many others do it with such ease.
Number 4: Loveless intimacy
As we mentioned, INFJs require a solid foundation to become truly vulnerable and comfortable with another person. This is only more true when it comes to romance and intimacy. For the INFJ, there’s nothing more uncomfortable than showing physical affection of any kind if it doesn’t come from a place of genuineness.
Whether it’s a simple hug from an acquaintance, a boss’s hand on their shoulder, or an impulsive one-night stand, it’s not uncommon for the INFJ to get a weird, regretful feeling immediately in the hours and days to come. This private and innately reserved type requires serious patience to fully open themselves up to another, making the option of engaging in physical intimacy with someone they don’t care for completely off the table.
If the INFJ feels compelled to engage in a loveless intimate moment at all, chances are they’re probably experiencing immense stress in their life, ultimately resorting to their dark side, so to speak.
Number 5: Lacking consideration for others
In the eyes of the INFJ, consideration is common sense. In today’s world, societal norms show that most others would disagree. Whether it’s rooted in culture, oblivion, or the slow death of common courtesy, this altruistic type will never truly understand the reason for the lack of consideration for their fellow humans. No, this way of thinking doesn’t come from naivety, for the INFJ knows very well just how frustrating the human race can be.
However, nothing would ever stop the INFJ from holding the door open for someone behind them or paying the difference for someone short on change. They don’t even think twice about these small acts of kindness. Because of this, sometimes they make the mistake of expecting it from those around them as well.
Similar to how the INFJ places so much significance on emotional cues, they know just how effective kindness can be in a world that is often so harsh. It’s all about human decency and proper morals, two things that seem to be less and less apparent.
Number 6: The expectations of women to be polite and non-confrontational
Sure, the INFJ woman may not necessarily want to confront others about her problems personally. However, there’s something about this societal expectation that just seems wrong. INFJs know firsthand what it’s like to suppress their feelings in fear of burdening others with their emotions.
Most people with this independent personality type wish they were able to face their fears and stand up for what they believe in more than they naturally do. So when it comes to this collective idea that the women who decide to stand up for themselves are seen as bossy, masculine, or impolite, most people with this personality type think it’s bogus. Most INFJs advocate for this very issue due to their own experiences with the matter. They know that blind compliance only fuels the burning fire within.
Luckily, with more and more females in power, women becoming their bosses, and feminine social media advocates, this narrative is fast changing and slowly killing the idea that assertive women are doing too much.
Number 7: The acceptance of societal norms overall
Speaking of compliance, one of the worst societal norms is the simple fact that we’re expected to follow societal norms at all. For this individualistic type who prefers to take the road less traveled, following the crowd is for those who find it difficult to think for themselves. Of course, with some aspects of life, following societal norms is the only way out.
Yet, when INFJs witness someone who blindly conforms and chooses not to go against the grain by any means, this type can’t help but question why we all feel so obligated to do what people expect of us. Maybe it’s fear of failure, maybe it’s fear of disappointing those we love, and maybe it’s not being given the courage to think outside the box from an early age.
For the INFJ, the concept of placing certain pressures on society only stifles our ability as a nation to be creative, think for ourselves, and possibly come up with better, more efficient ways of doing things. Yet, of course, that would give us more power as a society, ultimately challenging the higher-ups.
Well, psychos, that’s it for today! Comment below to let us know if there’s a societal norm that you can’t comprehend as an INFJ that we failed to cover today.
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