Today, we’re talking about the five strangest habits of the INFJ. These habits might seem completely normal to us, but once we start interacting with other people, we realize that what seems normal to us doesn’t always seem normal to others. By the time we’re in our early teens, or even earlier, we understand there’s something different about us.
Hopefully, by the time you’re reading this, you’re an adult and you understand that being different is okay. It’s on us to recognize our habits that seem normal to us but strange to others, and decide whether to share, be ashamed of, or embrace them. Embrace them, of course! Once we understand these habits, we can better accept who we are.
So today, we’re going to look into the five strangest habits of the INFJ that are everyday business for us.
Strange Habit Number 1: We Can Live Vicariously Through Others
This is one of those habits that seem completely normal to us. We don’t even think about it, but if we told this to other people, they’d listen again to make sure they heard us correctly. They might not understand because they have never experienced it, and they might even question why we’re doing this, thinking it seems weak or stalker-like. But the truth is, we can understand other people’s emotions and create emotions within them.
This is our strength. Extroverted feeling (Fe) is our second function, meaning it’s our creative function. We’re great at creating harmony and also at creating disharmony, making people uncomfortable because we know what we can trigger in others. This is why we often don’t do it. We can experience certain things through other people, and it’s something we do easily. It’s like a hobby. We relax, let others live out their passions, and we live vicariously through them.
It’s not something to be ashamed of, but it is a habit and a skill, not who we are. Sometimes it’s not the right path because no matter how well we can experience excitement through others, it will always be limited to what they want to experience. To fully experience life, we need to take action on our own wants. This is what the bootcamp is all about. Download the poster to understand more about this concept. The main point is that it’s a habit, a skill, not our identity.
Strange Habit Number 2: We’re Addicted to Our Imagination
Because we can experience emotions through others, we can also experience joy, hate, excitement, and intensity through our imagination. This is why INFJs tend to be cerebral beings and don’t take action all the time; we already get feedback from our mind that feels good just from imagining. This habit is a great indicator of what we want. We can create emotions on our own and imagine things vividly. However, if we only stay in our imagination, it limits what we can achieve. The discrepancy between our imagined world and reality can grow, leading to dissatisfaction.
Combining imagination with action is crucial. INFJs don’t need to do everything, just the right things. By taking action on our imagined desires, we can create a better reality and dream even bigger. This is what my teaching is all about—bringing imagination to life.
Strange Habit Number 3: We Are the Masters of Our Own Pace
Many INFJs aren’t aware of this until they see others being influenced by the fast pace of those around them, leading to burnout or unwanted situations. We INFJs are the masters of our own pace. We decide how fast we go, think, and move. This seems normal to us but not to others, who may wonder how we remain persistent in our own pace while everyone else seems to be rushing. Understanding and embracing our natural pace helps us move forward and achieve our goals without being distracted by others’ speeds. Focus on improving your own abilities rather than comparing yourself to others.
Strange Habit Number 4: We Like to Fix Others
You might think everyone likes to help others, but not everyone does, and they do it in different ways. We INFJs like to fix others by understanding their psychological needs and being their cheerleader or counselor. This doesn’t feel like a choice to us; if we see someone needing help, we feel compelled to assist. The challenge is to do this without sacrificing our own well-being. Help others in a way that maintains healthy boundaries and with those who genuinely want help. Find the right outlet for your desire to help others.
Strange Habit Number 5: We’re Addicted to Understanding Others’ Motives and Mindsets
This addiction can drive us crazy if we can’t read a situation. It’s part of the NITI loop, where we want to understand why people act the way they do. We excel at pattern recognition, and when things don’t make sense, it can be frustrating. Instead of getting stuck, step back and focus on expressing yourself and living your life. Recognize this habit as a skill but don’t let it define you.
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